Thursday, July 7, 2011
Michael Alano Portaro
Michael Alano Portaro, I miss you everyday since that insignificant person took you away. not a minute goes by where something happens that doesn't remind me of you, or a situation arises where I wish you where there. You left this life with so many broken hearts and even though GOD was there to comfort you, the DEVIL was working through the person that did this to you. I miss your laugh, it lifted my spirit. I miss your deep blue eyes, that would look right into the soul of people you loved. I miss your jokes, that weren't always funny but I laughed because you thought they were. I miss you and Jeff picking on me, I pretended to pout but deep down it made me feel special. I miss how big you were because your hugs would swallow me. I miss your style, I've never seen anything else like it. I miss how protective you were about the people you loved, you'd never let anything bad happen to us. You were Mikey P. Mike. Michael. You had a love for people that was so strong that sometimes your heart would hurt for them. I've seen you Laugh, I've seen you Cry, I've seen you Love and I've seen your Pain, no matter what happened you never changed who you were. You always kept your integrity. You viewed yourself equal to everyone, you never judged and you never condemned. You were God's angel. Who what when where why, who cares. You're gone. But only in the physical form. You will never be gone in my heart. I cannot walk into a gas station without someone knowing who you are. What the heck, I knew how important you were to me and I definitely know how important you still are to Jeff but I had no idea how many people you truly touched. I got a puppy a few days ago that I know you would Love. Actually I'm pretty sure you would have tried to bring his brother home too :]. The most contradictory part to this whole thing, is that I wish you were here to help me go through the feelings of not having you. If it were anyone else you'd know what to say, or even what not to say. Your prescence was a gift that I cherish. You know how I don't like to cry so I hold back the tears but than my throat starts to hurt. I don't want to talk about my memories because I want to keep them for my mind only. They're kind of like my own little personal memory card. You know and I know. This is the first time I've actually written something about you. I haven't gone on your facebook and written comments or checked your voicemail. But I do feel you laughing at me when I'm alone and doing stupid stuff, I just wish you and Jeff could laugh together. When I'm driving and singing along to the music on the radio I think "oh no now Mike finally gets to hear me sing," so than I stop because I don't want you to laugh ha, I feel like you're going to tell Jeff. Anyways, I love you bro, you were the 3rd party in this relationship. It was a 3-way that actually worked, once you're used to having three it's a trip going to two. But please visit Jeff, he needs you. He needs you so much Mike. Sometimes he just sits by himself and watches videos of you two and I hear him giggling. You know I already think he's crazy but I love him and I know you do too, I know you love me and you know I love you.
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